Archive for October, 2009

Back in July, We Had a Birthday

Friday, October 30th, 2009

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One of the cool things about sharing a birthday with Little Dude is the way I can totally disguise my man-child birthday wishes with the easy cover of “Little Dude would LOVE it”. And 98% of the time, I’m telling the truth. Such are the benefits of bridging a 31 year age gap with immaturity.

So last year the birthday shenanigans involved a new scooter, an airplane cake, a glorious trip to the Air Force museum and a night cap at Red Robin. This year it was a new bike, a robot cake, a sun-filled splash at a small water park and a night cap at Red Robin. Next year… I haven’t decided, but I’m pretty sure Little Dude would LOVE some kind of South African shark diving trip.

And a night cap at Red Robin.

Whether a Bug or the Dip, Sunday Stunk

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Just in case anyone was doubting, Sunday night confirmed on thing to this crew: throwing up is completely overrated. Throwing up multiple times? We’re all trying to forget.

Chili’s, why’d you do us so wrong.

Wing women. Copilot. 2nd in command.

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Well folks its official!  Dan finally admitted this is his “Daddy blog”.  Rightly so, he posts and his posts are awesome!  The dude has some serious skills.  He’s ranked–if not won–every contest he’s ever entered.   He landed a  freelance job with a running company when his last official run was in Junior High.  He was just recruited into our city planning/zoning commission because his words spoke to them in a letter he sent… i.e. paper whisperer.  If they had a contest for knowing poop loads of words, he’d win. I’m pretty sure his teachers from Kindergarten to College still remember him, where mine are praying I don’t move back.

That being said, you can see why my “posts” are so few and far in between.  Its like being back in school and I just happen to be going up against the best kid in the class.   Try writing a post/paper after someone who has a way with words making you laugh, cry, and angry all in the same paragraph.   It’s rough going.  I can’t really start my own blog because, well, that would be silly and I would maybe have three fans (thanks ladies…you know who you are) .

I see Vintonville as our family history.  Our journal that we never have to pick up a pen or pencil to keep.  A digital scrapbook since I’m still on Joshua’s 6 month page and he’s four.  So, I’ll keep posting every once and awhile so I remember and my kids remember that I was around, had an opinion, and wanted to participate in our family history.

No sympathy needed folks! I get my husband has mad skills and I love it!  How lucky am I,  just imagine his love notes…dreamy!  (Speaking of..hint..hint) This is for the few of you that ask “why” I never post and for me when I’m old and gray and wonder where all my words were/went.

For all you “Dan the man” followers, be gentle with my writing skills or just skip my hooked on phonics posts.

*** Original draft subject to change (edited later by Dan I’m sure…ha ha!!)

You’re Embarrassing Me in Front of my Friends!

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

cryingWay, way back in the day–like, high school back in the day– back when I was a blow drying my bangs, yearning for a pair of creepers, “pinning” my pants (the late 80’s precursor to this stuff) and living the teenage dream of lovelorn angst, my parents rolled up to my High School in this loaded down to look like this. Sure, they were picking me up for a straight-outta-there, multi-hour road trip to the NorCal coast, but the suitcases topped with a folding lawn chair all strapped to roof sent my volatile sense of teen humiliation into goosed-up afterburner. Slinking down to the floorboards, I shamefully dissolved into a “it-was-20-years-ago-and-I’m-still-mortified-I did-it” tantrum of epic proportion. Back then I was thinking about how embarrassed I was– now I can only think of how embarrassed my parents must have been at having their 15-year-old writhing on the car floor.

Yeah. Not my proudest moment.

Today I found out the whole “parental embarrassment” thing has no age limit, or starts somewhere around four years old. (more…)

HUH? ball

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

Joshua was old enough this year to actually register for a sport…  if you can call T-ball for ages 3-7 a sport!  Major League or not, we were the proud and excited parents, our boy playing T-ball!   I’ve taken the next step in life…right!  After practice, games, more practices my little man will be hitting, running, and scoring.  Clearly I was dreaming.

Dan was the lucky one and ended up being the coach.  He called all the kids and set up the first practice…these kids were going to beat the pants off all the other teams.   They practiced for about an hour,  Dan told them the plan and they were off, ready for the first big game.

My friend warned me that it was quite the fiasco, but boy was I in for a real treat!

HILARIOUS! All the kids were running everywhere.  We had everyone chasing the ball at once, picking noses (at least a few times during the game), throwing tantrums, crying in the middle of the field and tackling other teammates to get the ball. One kid just sat down (he was clearly done) and other kids ran across the field into the game next door (where was that dang base anyway?).   The poor parents were yelling from the sidelines.  You could tell the parents that had the same hopes and dreams for their kid as I did Joshua  because they were intense.  Do we forget they are four and it’s T-ball, People.

Needless to say the first practice was the only practice.  Will we sign the little man up next year?  You bet– it was hilarious! Who doesn’t love a good laugh.

Pics of the action below!

Rice Cereal? Phooey!

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

With almost six months of boob under her belt, we’re introducing Little Sis to “real food”. Somewhere in the infant development rule book, that means starting off with some kind of rice cereal.

At first glance, the stuff looks innocent enough; like an infantalized version of Malt-O-Meal– that hearty breakfast staple of old men everywhere.  But what it tastes like, apparently, is broiled liver doused in a Brussels sprout gravy. Not that Little Sis told us as much, but sometimes a dry heave says it all.

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Little Dude Thrashes in Drawing Face-Off

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

backyard-drawingLittle Dude’s getting into the whole drawing thing. I like to think he’s a chip off the old block, but then I look around and remind myself that christening scribblers as “Mini-Picassos” is a universal point of parental braggery. Let’s face it– most little kids like to draw and there’s a whole refrigerator/magnet industry to prove it. Still, it doesn’t make it any less fun to see Little Dude get better and more creative when he puts crayon and ink to paper. So as long as it’s robots, spiders, “ghostesses” or some thing else that’s “cool”, we’re going through paper at a rate that’s going to quickly endanger pacific northwestern forests.

Sorry.

The other day we had a Beat It-style contest of skill (see it at 3:19)… but you know, with markers instead of knives. The rules went down something like this: I’d draw a robot, Little Dude would draw a robot. I’d draw something spooky, Little Dude would draw something spooky. As it turned out, Little Dude must have been making up the rules as he went, because he started me first and then overwhelmed with sheer volume.

The results are after the jump: (more…)

Quotables: Little Dude

Tuesday, October 20th, 2009

Another installment of the ongoing adventures in the lexicon wonderland of Little Dude Vinton.

img_22362One of Little Dude’s favorite shirts  is a bright orange tee with big numbers and a football player. To promote the whole “It’s fun to like sports” thing, we sat down to watch some football and grunt and “wow” at all the tackles.

“Would you still like me if I took those football guys down?”

“What do you mean?”

“Took them down to Chinatown!”

For some reason, not sure why, Little Dude is freaked out by wrinkles. “Did Jesus bless us to be wrinkly when were old? If you are, I’ll be so sad.”

On Sunday, we received a visit from our home teachers. Little Dude was not stoked and started complaining loudly to Lady Friend.

“They always come over!”

“No they don’t. Stop”

“Stop the drama, Mama! The home teachers always come over!”

Little Dude tells me stories as I drive him to school. They’re usually heady mixes of the real and the fantastical. Today’s was about being able to shoot a BB gun at a cabin.

My Grampa let me shoot a BB gun and I shot a cow. I blasted him right in the milk gut. Right where the milk squirts out!”

How to Blow 180 Days of Fitness in 10 Minutes

Monday, October 19th, 2009

img0006172With so many other vices to indulge in Vegas, one of the last things I’d expect to come home feeling guilty about would be doing the “conductor’s pump”, yelling “Woo- Wooooo!” and summarily stuffing 24 oz. of ground beef, bun, cheese and sauce down my fat pie hole. But I did, all thanks to Fatburger’s Triple King (aka: The XXL, aka. The WTF!) Challenge as facilitated by glutinous burger bravado and a cast-iron gut.

Out of 12+ dudes and a possible stripper, I ended up finishing first place, not only going the distance in cramming down 1200+ calories, 60+ grams of fat and over 1500 mgs of sodium in a burger roughly the size of a cantaloupe, but doing it all in a come-from-behind victory to beat everyone else. The evidence is on crappily recorded video and embedded below. The exact moment of my shameful triumph is here, but I couldn’t get the thing to finish. Maybe you’ll have better luck.

Shortened life expectancy aside, I think I found my calling.


Watch live video from Fatburger on Justin.tv

Geriatric Crusaders

Sunday, October 18th, 2009

rotten-appleWay back when, medieval Christianity put some serious hurt on Islamic/Western relations for, oh like… the next 800+ years. Taking a page from the Our-Way-Or-The-Highway Guide on How to Successfully Punch Community Good Will in the Face, modern day geriatric crusaders have successfully done the same in our creek-hugging neighborhood. BUT, since nobody likes a complainer… a tale: Grimm style.

neighborhood-copyOnce upon a time, there was a kindly couple. Through years of toil, this kindly couple had fostered a well-intentioned dream of creating a quiet country village filled with happy, productive people. The village would consist of cottages on one side of a creek and homes on the other, all connected by both warm hearts and a humble thoroughfare. When the time was right, the kindly couple undertook the creation of their dream. Like many well-laid plans, they ran into obstacles of misunderstanding, unforeseen complications and sleight of hand. But while the growing village had some rainy days that didn’t unfold like their sunshiney, blue-skyed dreams intended, the end result was a Hawthorne-lined slice of heaven. All was well.

For a time…

(more…)