AR-15 Comes in Handy, Dan Tries Desperately to Avoid Post Sounding Like NRA Commercial
Letting people know I own an AR-15 always cracks me up. On one hand, I ordered some peripherals for it and received a year’s subscription to Field and Stream.
Me? Field and Stream?
Er… No.
On the other hand, I tell family members and get the awkward “I had you pegged as a normal guy, but now I’m trying to justify my stereotype of the crazy, conspiracy theoried woodsman with the NRA sticker on the back of his truck with the 9 point buck strapped to the hood with the devilishly handsome, witty, sensitive and almost on board with Obama (!!) suburban guy I know you to be” moment.
But hey! Let not your stereotypes be troubled! I own an AR-15 for one (OK, two) simple reasons: Ego (it looks awesome and nets priceless reactions when I say I own one) and it’s fun to shoot logs and bottles with. That’s it.
See? I’m a total poser.
Still, don’t think having this sucker is all for show. Matt’s AR has already paid for itself via last night alone. Most of the following tale is in his words, edited from an IM chat by me:
So at 2 am last night Emily and I awoke to a loud smashing sound. I wanted to make sure everything was OK on my end so I grabbed my AR and when out the front door.
Needless to say, I was able to ID a suspect from about 75 feet using my trusty Surefire MX951 120 lumen flashlight as he was running away from his victim– in this case someone’s bay window (he’d shoved a ladder through it).
So when I trained my Tac-light on him (guy in his 20s wearing a wifebeater and baggy pants), he saw he was being watched and turned at me, so I kicked my laser on (a 6ms green weapon laser acquired from a somewhat shady Chinese enterprise). He freaked and booked it the he-double-hockey-sticks out.
So I’m standing there assessing the area to id any additional threat– standing there with a fully loaded AR-15 assault rifle when the cops roll up. I ditch the AR, thinking [ed: rightly] it wouldn’t be good to have a trigger happy cop see me with it.
They walk up and say, “What did you see?” I tell him and he says ok, go to your house.”
I said, “Ok, one sec, I gotta grab my flashlight…” …That’s ATTACHED TO A FREAKING HUGE AR!
I try to mask the fact, but he proceeds to say, “Um, you should not be out here with a gun.”
I said, “Ok, peace!” (I talked to the officer later and they didn’t seem to care that i came out with my gun as its more of a normal response to that kind of shenanigans).
Oh, and by the way, I ‘d run outside and was standing there in nothing but my G’s.
Well, well, well. His little gun doesn’t seem so silly now, does it? I mean, aside from posing with it in your underpants.
A tip of the hat to you, Matthew Maughan! And a tip of the hat to your pimped out AR-15, whom I shall now call “Pimpanello”.
Holy crap. That’s all I can say. Well, and that story is so great, especially that it was all done in nothing but holy underwear.
were did you get the parts to put on that ar-15
Dan, my old Ithica featherlight that’s loaded with 00 buckshot might not be as threatening as your AR-15, but hopefully it’ll make an intruder think twice about paying us a second visit (if the dirty bastard makes it off the yard alive during the first visit). Someday I hope to own a nice piece like yours.
I got them both locally and online.
Thanks, Brian!