Baby. Bootie.
Admittedly, I’ve been pretty terrible at posting about what WE’RE up to lately. There’s a been quite a few things done gone down around here that should have been ruminated on in the light of day and made available for the select few who read this blog and the <gulp> millions of prying eyes who could potentially wander across it thanks to key words like “Benjamin Button” and “Underpants”.
You know, ruminations on stuff like how we’ll be welcoming a baby girl in May, and resulting realizations of inevitable paradigm shifts in diaper changing dynamics, a game-changing leveling of the domestic playing field, a substantial increase in “So CUTE” spending habits, satisfaction in knowing the purchase of a gun will pay itself off in 16 years and an unnatural surge in ponies and dolls and pink everything. Which is all fine…
…but I’d always planned on fielding my own little army of action-loving, sports-playing, wilderness exploring little buddies with our very own “Wendy” (read: MC) sharing in the adventure and excitement. While April is well on her way, I’ve got to do some recalculating. Not that there couldn’t be a few changes to the club rules in efforts accommodate a girl, but I don’t necessarily ever want the word “butch” used to describe little Mari-Catherine Jr., because then it would have been all my fault.
There’s also been my spectacular weight gain, going from a running, lifting 178 lbs. to a lazy, cookie-eating 200 lbs. over the waist-busting course of 6 months. I tend to notice because I store it in my pale, perpetually 5′oclock shadowed face– kind of like Ben Affleck on a bad day. Oh, and my pants stop fitting.
Of course, friends and family soothe me and say they haven’t noticed, but that’s just because there’s another 18 lb. reserve stored in my back-rolls and the thickest white-man apple-booty you may ever see this side of Fatback’s Fried Food Buffet night. I’m serious. I did a quadruple-take on myself as I caught my reflection in the mirror while walking out of a bathroom. My can has grown into an inland continental shelf. In hindsite, I’m just now realizing the potential I could have had as a heavy-hitting baseball player with a booty like this. With a little training, I guess it’s never to late to give it a shot.
To get you back on the Jenny loop, those two blogs I linked are written by two sisters. One was in a small plane crash in Arizona in August, eighty percent of her body was covered with 3rd degree burns, she was in a drug induced coma for three months. I’m sure you’ve probably heard of it sometime. Anyway, I stumbled on their blogs after I had Nathan and the sister (the angel) has been taking care of her sister’s kids and also maintaining her blog by giving updates and re-posting readers favorites, etc. Long story short, the burn victim sister’s blog = very inspiring (for those of us who stay at home with kids and are a bit nostalgic for the fifties), the other sister’s blog = very funny.
PS my brother has a huge bootie. You should hang out with him, then you’d feel a lot better about yourself. Also, if I come back and your nursery looks like the one posted I am having me some smack down time with you and MC.