Vintonville - The life and times of a guy, his Lady-Friend, a Little Dude and a Little Sis.

Since all my “fans” (numbers are too much to even post, honestly) have been begging and calling my name, I will relent and post on the blog. I know it will be tough to get through my easy English, non-fancy words, and void-of-LOL humor. “Dan the man fans”– bare with me.

Now, on to explain the title and picture (no this is not me). I do have to admit I thought for a brief moment of taking some partially nude pics of my pregnant body… but it passed quickly.

I can’t help but think about pregnancy. Probably because I’m large, pregnant and soon we will go from “kid” to “kids”. It seems like everyone always says how beautiful a pregnant woman is and where I agree that pregnancy is an amazing miracle, I just can’t get with the “beautiful body thing”. Let me explain (warning this may contain too much information. Sorry, men. Ladies, you love it).

First, I will admit it is nice to be out of my training bra from the 6th grade, but when the “girls” start looking like 10-pound milk jugs, it’s hard to see where “sexy” might fit into that sentence. Maybe I’m wrong, but I’ve never been one to think a huge, sagging milk jug is the epitome of sexiness. And if that isn’t enough… okay moving on.

Growing. Listen– I get that your stomach has to grow, but everything around it and below it– really? Ladies, you have to know what I mean: ribs, hips, and body from the knees up. One moment I’m looking in the mirror and thinking, “Oh I still have a little shape. The hour glass isn’t totally lost”. Leave it to kids to knock you back into reality: I’ve been an itch factory namely on my back so I will bribe the little man to give me a little scratch when I can’t reach it just right. While Joshua was so nicely reaching that spot he says “Look mama part of your bum is sticking out of your pants!” Um, no Little Guy. That’s my sweet back fat! Elastic inventor, whoever you are, I love you!

Speaking of sticking out…

Joshua likes to talk to the baby. He calls her “Little Sis”. When he talks to her, he thinks my clothes block out the sound, so he will only speak to a bare belly. During one of those priceless moments he kindly states “Look mama you have a nut on your tummy” and then he proceeds to try and pick my belly button up and eat it. Nothing says sexy more than a belly button protruding out of your stomach that looks like a tasty nut to nibble or an extra button on your shirt.

Pockets and patches. I’m not talking about the ones that come on your pants, I’m talking about the ones that hide in your pants. Its like you’re smuggling cheese curds. Do we really NEED the extra cheesy goodness when everything else on our body is already headed towards the ultimate plumpness?

There are many other things that I could mention but I’m sure I’ve already said too much for most folks. I also want to say again how amazing pregnancy is and how lucky I am to experience it. It truly is a miracle. The one thing I just can’t get behind is how a pregnant body is truly beautiful. They do say your husband is even more attracted to you when you are pregnant, and to that I say Hallelujah. I can’t thank the chemical in the brain that does that enough.