Long Arm of the Law Reaches Out, Steals Mari-Catherine
Well, it’s official. MC is on jury duty.
And not just any jury duty. Oh no. This isn’t sissy stuff. This case? MURDER. That’s right. Murder.
Mari-Catherine first received notice of jury pool selection a few months back when we felt her chances of being called were scant. When she went in for interviews last week, I gave her the best advice I could, “Tell them you’ve been following the case for years and are convinced the defendant is guilty and should burn in hell for all eternity to pay for his senseless crime. Then tell them you need to get home because you’re an hour late on taking the “happy pills” your doc prescribed to keep the voices in your head at bay.”
Obviously, she thought that was stupid. Something crazy about “I need to be truthful” or somesuch.
Her first official–and decidedly grim– day on the job was today. The bright side? $50 a day, which means I’ll have to start stuffing the mattress.
To be honest, she was pretty upset, as it means leaving Joshua for 3-4 days a week, all day. I guess she can take comfort in knowing she’s performing her civic duty and, if the guy on trial is found guilty, helping deliver a bit of justice to a family 20 some years later.
Yay.
Opportunity for the Vintonville head writer … have you ever thought of writing sarcastic comedy for $$$$? Have you ever heard of ONION? It’s a group of young, self proclaimed “loosers” who are gifted writers with wit making hay with this “down time” in the country. As you know, when things get tough, the tough (and ambitious) get funny. What a perfect time for you to come out of the closet and show off your talent, sonny. ONION is a newspaper (probably out of NYC) which satirizes the current affairs. Non of the writers are political … they are just witty observers. Maybe you could find a place in UT (or better yet CO) who would welcome you and your gifted pen into their inner sanctom. Or, maybe you’d like to start your own paper/magazine/whatever. It’s a good time to do so, and you (my young man) are at your prime. Your writing is quite enviable, and begs to be enjoyed by more of the populous than us Vinton viewers. Look into it. The window is open.
Indeed I have heard of the Onion, which is what I pretty much cribbed the “headline” style post titles from.
So, have you thought of applying with them. You’re pretty much perfect for the job, or something similar. You could send them your stuff via e-mail and not even leave the comfy Logan casa.
FORGET IT. Just read ONION and I say forget them, Danny boy. You are too funny, smart, and decent (as opposed to vulgar) for them.
(really, never would have guessed!)
-your mommy
Mari Catherine!!!!! You look so much better as a brunette.
MC, what I meant to say is I was surprised to see YOU under that blonde wig. I like you as a brunette. We love you. Hope the jury duty is not too upsetting, and wish we were there to help you out.