Quotables: Joshua and the Bedtime Of Ruination
The Little Dude’s been on a roll lately. Unlike his Papa- who has unequivocally sucked at doing much of anything by way of posts.
Since I haven’t been doing much of anything around here, I’ll let Little Dude do it for me:
Most kids aren’t keen on bedtime. Joshua is definitely one of them. Sometimes he goes quietly, other times her voices… dissent… and other times he makes a bolt for freedom. The bolt for freedom was the choice of the night and, as I scooped him up and he made a last minute plea and warning: “Papa Noooo! No! you’re making a mistake! This is on accident! You’re ruining our family!”
A few days later, bedtime was once again on the agenda. And here’s where we cop to some weak parenting: We lay with Joshua until he falls asleep. I know!
So Joshua usually gets to choose who to lays down with him. 90% of the time it’s Mama 100% of the time. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but it’s science. Sometimes, however, Mama gets a little tired of investing 15-45 of her night in a sleepy-time holding pattern and asks me to do it. Joshua usually protests. On this sweet occasion, I asked the usual, “Why don’t you want to sleep with Papa?”
“Because you’re a DUDE.” Ok, he didn’t say that, but in my mind I thought that would be funny. So let’s rewind.
Papa: “Why don’t you want to sleep with Papa?”
Joshua: “Because sometimes people want to sleep with their Mamas.”
Lady-Friend was in Old Navy. Old Navy, being Old Navy, was playing the old school Bucketheads dance hit “The Bomb! These Sounds Fall Into My Mind”. Joshua didn’t hear “These Sounds Fall into my Mind”. I’m not sure what he heard, but it must have been something about cheese or pepperoni, “Mama! They’re singing about pizza!”
Picking your nose may be frowned on, but it can be fun. And every human being who’s ever thought that no one was looking, no matter how much they protest, knows it.
While my days of nosepicking are long gone (it’s the sure way to get sick), Joshua’s aren’t. When a kid wants to pick his nose, there’s nothing you can do about it. Bat a hand away, it’s an instant return. It’s their nose, it’s their finger and they can, and will, make it happen. Coming to grips with this, I’ve become a casual observer.
This week, I was observing as Joshua was digging–excavating even– for what looked like a knuckle-deep attempt to find his brain. I casually commented, “Hey Buddy. You gettin’ what you need?” I must do this a lot, because he causally replied back with, “Yeah. All kinds of boogies to put in my treasure box.”
When Joshua sleeps, he doesn’t like covers. We’ve been trying to explain that covers are our friends and keep us warm when it’s butt-end-of-the-Earth cold outside. Still, I’ll wander into his room to tuck him in before I go to bed and usually find him exposed and chilly. Sometimes being cold wakes him up and he’ll stealthily wander into our bedroom and climb into bed, usually whispering “Mama, I’m freeeeeezing.” Mama usually responds with, “You need to stay under the covers to keep warm, Joshua. Then you don’t need to come to our bed.”
“But Mama, it’s because I missed you.”
I wish my kids would pick their noses. I know that sounds gross, but really, they’re very fastidious about hand washing, so it wouldn’t be so bad. Still think it’s gross, well picture this, Holden with boogers in his nose ALL THE TIME! Just PICK EM I say. Although it is my nieces nervous tic. Finger, mouth, finger, mouth. Ick.