Quotables- Little Dude
Another installment of the ongoing adventures in the lexicon wonderland of Little Dude Vinton.
Little Dude’s a nuclear clock. Put him to bed at 7:30 pm, he’s awake at 8 AM. Put him to bed at 11 PM, he’s awake at 8 AM. Apparently, all that consistency caught up with him Thursday morning.
“Hey, Mama. My mind didn’t work very well when I woke up so I had to smack it! And my jaw, so I had to open it up and smack my jaw up.”
We eat at this Mexican joint: Cafe Rio. A lot. Little Dude’s usually a quesadilla kind of guy, but after the third visit in a week, he wanted something beefier. We got him a sweet pork taco. After one bite, he put it down. “Why would they make this so nice kids can’t eat it because it’s too spicy? That’s RUDE.”
Drinking milk, Little Dude began to explain what it was and where it came from. I tried to point out that it came from cow boob, but he wasn’t having it. “Milk goes through cows veins. It’s sanitizer.”
The Poo fight continues. After seeing the sure sign of a kid in distress, I ordered Little Dude to the toilet. Knowing there was a limited window of opportunity before he, by sheer will power, forced his poop back up with nothing to show for it but a sad skid, I shuttled him to the toilet. As I lifted him, I saw my “Poop-dar” needed a tune up.
“Sigh. Did you poop your pants again?”
Pause.
“Sadly… yes.”
The other night we went out to eat. We called ahead to let them know we’d need a table for two adults and two “obnoxious kids”. I was only half joking– Little Sis was trying to break out of her car seat while screaming in the background and Little Dude was yelling at her to be quiet. When we arrived, they punished us with the farthest corner of the restaurant near the wait stations, kitchen and ignominy. Little Dude was not impressed.
“I’m just gonna have some bread sticks. Then I’m takin’ off.”
Tags: Cafe Rio, Little DudeLittle Dude was wondering what all the “Amen”-ing was at the end of prayer.
“Why do we even say Amen?”
“It means you agree.”
Naturally, the next prayer got a dose of modern English:
“…In the name of Jesus Christ, I agree.”
[...] Little Dude and The Jaw Smack-Up [...]